Monday, July 13, 2015

Epic or Not, You be the Judge

It was an ambitious ride, I'll give it that.  I'm not sure it meets the criteria for an epic ride.  Loosely I like this list or criteria for an epic ride.  It applies more to mountain biking but can be adapted for the road.  The ride must meet 5 out of the 12.
1-Was the ride more than 8 hours?
2-A ride of no less than 4 hours that was over twice the planned ride time.
3- Adverse/brutal weather;
4- Technical difficulty.
5- Mechanical failure w/o reparable recourse or w/ MacGyverable recourse;
6- Blood and injury;
7-Running out of water/food;
8-Discontent and Conflict w/in the group far beyond pouting…usually as a result of…
9- Being completely lost… and
10- Watching the sun set while still hours from trails end or unwillingly spending the night on the trail.
11 - Hostel/Unusual  wildlife encounters. 
12. A ride that will never be forgotten. "Remember that time...."

So how did we do? (Actually, I guess I am being the judge.  Feel free to ask for an appeal in the comments)

#1 Counting stops to eat ice cream and fill water bottles we were gone for more than 8 hours so I'm definitely counting this one.
This ice cream is so worth a 50 mile ride.

 #2 We only went about 2 hours over and part of that was a late start, so no.

#3 It was sunny and near 90 and we went out without sunscreen.  Near the end of the ride the heat was really sapping it out of my riding partner so I'll take this one.

Just look at the adverse and brutal weather.
#4  This one is close.  Since hurricane mountain is listed as a category 2 climb and we are far from pros I think we get this one.

I'll never get over how steep this is.
#5 We did realize near the top of a mountain that the rear tire on my wife's bike was not really fit to make the  descent with plenty of chords showing through the casing.  Through impeccable planning I had brought a spare tire and thus reduced the chance of an epic ride, my bad. Had we not noticed it we could have got and entry in the next category too.
My disgusting chainstay may get me kicked out the the anal rodies club but it doesn't count as a mechanical.
 #6  Other than a very mild sunburn and a hammered taint from my poor short selection for a 100+ mile ride the injuries were non-existant.  We did stop at the Pearl Izumi factory store to see what short options there might be.  They had a pair that caressed your balls while you ride and let you float over the seat, but they were $150.  Pass.  No points awarded.

#7  We can take this one.  We had 2 24oz bottles each which we filled 3 times for a total of 144oz or 9 lbs of water.  And we still ran out. It didn't cause any problems other than a mild headache but I'm taking it since it meets the criteria.  Even with the intake I weighed in 4-5 lbs lighter than when I started.
We compensated with running out of water for a while with added fluids at the end.

#8  Absolutely not.  Nothing elevated above pouting, I swear.

#9  It's hard to get completely lost on the road, although I have been lost on a century ride resulting in unintended miles, which I would totally count.  This was not the case in this ride.  No points.

#10 Had it been December the sun might have set.

#11 We saw dozens of squirrels, a porcupine waddling off the road and a vulture eating a freshly road killed deer but nothing epic here.

#12  Tough call.  I'm sure it will be remembered for a while but eventually the long rides blend together, especially if nothing unique happens.  The century where 5 of us took the wrong turn and added 10 miles and thus missed the rest of the rest stops because they closed - Memorable. The cross bike ride where after 5 miles of dirt road we had to wade through thigh high water - Memorable.  I'm afraid I can take this one.

 So we got #1, #3, #4 & #7.  One point away from an epic ride.  If only that porcupine had stood his ground and forced us to take an alternate route!  I'm kind of glad he didn't.  I was ready go get home and drink some beer.

It was still a good ride.


  1. Just barely shy of Epic, and I'm pretty ok with that. Most days I'm good to trade Epic for Joyful. It WAS a good ride, and I concur, nothing more than pouting for either of us :)